this ache in my soul...

i can't even define it...it's not my usual angsty love lost... it's more of a saddening that i lost my friend.... which is actually worse... and i don't obsess on you i just wonder why you don't miss me or think about me i wonder how i was there everyday and then *poof* nothing *shrug* nothing. *sigh* you made me believe that there are nice guys out there i still believe this i also believe i'm not ready for nice guys as much as i'm not ready for bad boys that this is the time for me to find me again for me to become strong and able and find the strength my god gave me and find my peace i had it once... for awhile anyways *sigh* still... i miss you. and sometimes i get sad that i meant more to you in my own head than i did in yours...

i don't know who i am...

i wander on this journey... wondering if i'll ever find you... the you that finds peace the one that says... *shrug* ok...it's only a setback the one that let's her heart heal before she goes on... i wonder if you'll find her in time... if when you finally find her she'll be good enough for you or will you find that you knew her all along? feels like i've been searching and searching forever maybe i'm searching for the wrong person... maybe it's supposed to be me and not who i'm finding... maybe i'm supposed to find me...