first...

so i don't even know where to start... i thought it would be so easy to just "do" this.... considering all of the changes in my life...just one more start not going as my head planned, is not surprising..... i just want something different...somewhere i can just put all of this "nonsense" this madness, this "stuff" that wants to escape..usually at 4 in the morning... i suppose i should do it somewhere, like in a journal, where i'm not open to eyes i don't know...but it seems safer this way...less expectations, less judging me...less all of it.... i'm sure my friends would have to dig deep to find this... and i'm not likely to tell my secret (s) hahaha well......here we go...